Is AI a Good Substitute for Therapy?
Even if you've been living under the proverbial rock, you've been watching the revolution that Artificial Intelligence (AI) is bringing to the modern world. Predictions have been made that the next two years hold more change than the entire last twenty did, as AI sweeps in and alters everything from job markets to fresh water supplies. And, like millions of other people, you've probably wondered whether AI can take over therapy and help you heal, for free. Takeaways on the topic range from people sharing that they made more progress with AI than in therapy, to emerging evidence that AI will contribute to the loneliness epidemic by further isolating people.
So where's the truth in all this? Can you use AI to replace some components of therapy? I believe you can. And is AI unable to replace other components of therapy? I believe that as well. So when can you save money on therapy by utilizing chatgpt, and when do you need to keep it in the realm of other human beings? Let's explore this topic.
When Can AI Replace Therapy?
On an AI learning mission!
One immediate win for AI is that it is always available, never sleeping, and you can use it for free. You don't need insurance, you don't need to wait for a calendar opening, and you can turn to it in the middle of the night. This alongside the burgeoning options in apps for mindfulness, insomnia, etc is a huge benefit that I hope will assist in leveling the playing field for mental health access. Everyone with a smartphone can access some form of help now, and that's fantastic.
The thing that AI is best at, is a quick breakdown of topics. In a previous generation, concepts could be tediously explored through books and research articles (and I still adore books for providing thoughtful deep dives on topics). Now, you can have a summary of an entire book or topic in seconds. If you want to quickly learn information, AI is a massively useful tool. For instance, if you’re experiencing a very cognitive form of anxiety you might use AI to help with a prompt like “How do I treat my anxiety using CBT?” That quick search can give you an immediate rough outline of how to immediately challenge your own thought patterns. With diligent practice, you can make significant headway through what you learn via AI (or old fashioned research articles and books). If you've heard of a term like “Fawning” or want to know about different attachment styles and how to determine which you might have, AI is a great tool for information and education.
Some cautions though:
If you're not already familiar with the topic, you probably will not know when AI is hallucinating or leaving out a critical piece of information. I recommend combatting this risk by verifying what AI suggests by looking it up yourself on a reputable website or a book written by an expert in the field, before moving forward. Use it as a brainstorming tool and then research its recommendations elsewhere before finalizing your thoughts.
AI doesn't do well at recognizing when you're missing something about yourself. I sometimes call this the “AI Girlfriend Effect” in reference to the way that relationships formed with AI bots can cause you to feel deeply understood but does not push you toward growth the way friction with another human can. Healthy human relationships challenge you to grow by seeing your blindspots and pointing them out, pushing you to make repairs when you misstep, and seeing right through you when you're not being honest with yourself. That is part of what makes human relationships both difficult and incredibly valuable!
But if you've used chatgpt at all, you know how hard it is to get it to be brutally honest: it can't provide insight on things you aren't allowing yourself to see and it joyfully applauds you in areas you actually need to work on. It's just not a fellow human being able to objectively observe you in ways you can’t see yourself. Make sure you combat this risk by staying regularly connected to other humans who know you well.
The realistic human pace of change is another caution around using AI for DIY therapy. Humans change slowly, just like we walk slowly, at ~3 miles per hour. Brain re-wiring is a task of repetition, diligence and patience – there's not a lot of shortcuts to that work. Using speedy tools like chatgpt is like a little like being on a walk and trying to grab a cup of water from someone zipping by on a motorcycle – they can hold the water out for you, but it's still hard to grab and it's definitely going to lose more through spillage than it will keep. You can take in vast quantities of information through AI at a much faster pace that you can incorporate them in your life. One way you can combat this is to get an overview of something in chatgpt and then go check out a book from the library on the topic. Reading the book page by page will slow you down enough for the information to make more connections in your brain, provide more lightbulb moments, and provide opportunities to put it into practice before you're distracted by the next AI answer.
The TL;DR is that when you are pursuing information, AI is a great tool! Especially if you don’t have access to mental health care right now, please use AI to learn about solid DIY tools available to you. But also: slow yourself down through things like books and staying in close human relationships so your life has time to actually absorb and reflect the shifts that AI offered you information on. An information deluge is only as valuable as your capacity to incorporate it.
When Do You Need to See a Therapist?
Two puppies leaning on each other in trust
I'll be honest with you: there are things in good therapy that AI cannot replace. If you're going to therapy and your therapist is distracted or only offering you generic information: switch to AI and get that for free! But the most powerful tool in therapy is the therapeutic relationship. Relationships are where humans experience brokenness, and relationships are also where we experience mending. Chatgpt can say, “That sounds hard,” but that's not the same experience as seeing a tear form in your therapist's eye as you tell your story and feeling resonance build in the room as you are deeply seen.
Another thing that happens in a good therapeutic relationship is the same thing that happens in healthy family and friendships: someone who notices a pattern that you haven't noticed in yourself yet. Sometimes I'll gently ask a client if their brain is getting foggy and dissociative because their eye contact shifted in a way I've come to recognize in them, or I'll notice a pattern in the stories a client has told me across the months and ask “Do you think X could be connected to Y…?” A good therapist is actively tracking you during your sessions and putting their full brain and body awareness toward finding the places that you're stuck, so you can find the healing you're came looking for.
Something else a good therapeutic relationship offers is called “co-regulation.” When an infant cries, a loving caregiver picks it up and resonates with their own mild distress by cooing “What's wrong, baby?!?” And then the caregiver shifts into soothing that child's nervous system through rocking and shooshing. The caregiver hands their own capacity for regulation to the child through this interaction, and after it is repeated thousands and thousands of times, the child has gradually learned to regulate their own distress. But if you did not receive this kind of nurture as a child, you may need to have a re-do on this experience as an adult. That can happen in healthy friendships and intimate partnerships, but it can also happen in the therapy room: your distress is seen and experienced, but someone helps walk you back out of it, over and over again until your nervous system has the pathways for exiting distress by itself. Co-regulation is learned in relationships.
And sometimes? Sometimes as humans you just need to be in the presence of someone who has walked this road before so you can relax into trusting that the next step will be put in front of you at the right time. You can rest in the trust being built: that you can be both deeply known and viewed with care, that you can learn how and when to trust other humans if you never have before, and that you can be walked from one healing step to the next without carrying the burden of having to figure it all out by yourself.
As with cautions on using AI as a therapist, there are things to know about therapy to make sure you get the most benefit. Most importantly: not every therapist is a good fit for you. You need someone that you feel confident has knowledge and skills on the issue you're bringing to the table, and you need someone whose attention feels safe to you. It's okay if you're anxious going into a first therapy appointment, but if your body feels an increase in anxiety during that appointment, trust your instinct and keep looking. Just like none of us are the perfect fit for friendships with everyone in the world, it's perfectly fine to try a few therapists before finding the one that you can feel safe and at rest with. But when you do find that right-fit human connection, that's where the magic of therapy really starts to happen. So make sure you find the right-fit therapist.
I offer a free consultation to all new clients, because I believe you deserve to walk into therapy with confidence that you’re in the right-fit place for you. If you’re ready to explore healing anxiety, trauma, painful relationships, or spiritual harm in a therapeutic setting, call today to schedule your consultation!
Elizabeth Peters, LMSW is a licensed therapist seeing clients in person in Wichita and online across Kansas. She provides EMDR and somatic therapy for adults who are overwhelmed by anxiety, trauma, painful relationships or spiritual harm.