How to Stop Ruminating

What is Rumination

You’ve probably experienced rumination at some point: a thought that’s looping over and over unproductively.

·      A conversation keeps replaying in your mind at 2am, stuck on what you could have said better

·      The “I probably have cancer” ticker tape runs in the background while you work all day

·      Old memories pop up and then stick around, flooding you with shame

·      You can’t stop yourself from texting someone again even though you really already said that to them… a few times

·      Bitter thoughts of “Why am I like this?!” won’t quiet down

Welcome to rumination.

Rumination is an unproductive thought loop. It doesn’t change any outcomes, it doesn’t produce a decision and then let go. The thoughts just keep circling the same topic, over and over. If you’re not sure whether you’re ruminating, try asking yourself: Have I learned anything new in five minutes of thinking about this? and Can I easily stop thinking about this if I want to? If the answer to both of those is no, you might be experiencing rumination! Especially if you feel worse after spending time with these thoughts, it’s probably rumination.

Train tracks with two different destinations

How Does Rumination Affect You?

Start with an internal assessment: how is rumination affecting you? Is it improving your sleep, helping your relationships, and making life lighter? Or is it keeping you awake and making the next day bleary, irritating your partner, and making your heart race? It’s important to begin with a solid sense of what rumination is actually doing in your life. Knowing what it is costing can be a powerful motivation to change the pattern.

See, the thing about brain wiring is, whatever you use, your brain will prioritize. If you lift weights a lot, you’ll get better at lifting weights; if you ruminate a lot, rumination will become automatic in your brain. The more you ruminate, the easier it is to ruminate about everything else. If you have been struggling with rumination for a long time, you will have really powerful brain wiring around it.

So if it is costing you more than it is helping you, but it’s also deeply ingrained brainwiring, what can you do about rumination?

Road roundabout where you can choose your own adventure

Tools to Stop Rumination

There are a number of tools you can use to disrupt rumination. Most importantly, begin by learning to recognize when you are turning to rumination: you can’t disrupt a brain pattern you don’t realize you’re doing. Then, when you recognize it, pull one of these or other tools out, and practice disrupting the rumination, over and over again. Change won’t be an overnight fix, but you can shift your own brain through practice. The more you disrupt rumination, the easier it gets to shift your thoughts.

Some of these tools might be helpful when you recognize that rumination is happening:

1)    Name it to tame it. When you recognize that rumination is occurring, name it: this is rumination. Don’t let your brain fool you into calling it problem solving, if problems aren’t being solved. Call a spade a spade: this is rumination.

2)    Set a timer. Set an alarm for five minutes and write down all your thoughts as fast as possible, and when the alarm goes off, stop. Plan when your next worry session will be – perhaps tomorrow – and every time rumination pops up, remind it “I’ll think about that in my next worry session tomorrow!”

3)    Decenter. Instead of existing entirely within the thought, step back a little bit. Instead of thinking “I ruined it,” say to yourself, “I’m having the thought that I ruined something.” Validate that the thought exists without completely merging with it. That small step of separation can reduce the pull of thoughts.

4)    Bring perspective. Ask yourself, “Will this matter in five years?” If not, let it go.

5)    Ask yourself “Now what?” Instead of an endless loop on past errors and future fears, bring your brain toward present-moment action. Is there anything to do right now? Step away from helpless thought spirals and move yourself toward an action stance.

6)    Get physically active. Go engage in brisk physical activity and bring up your heartrate. Even if you just excuse yourself to the bathroom and do 30 seconds of jumping jacks, a brief focus on physical activity will help disrupt the cognitive introspection.

7)    Take care of yourself. It’s much harder to resist rumination when you’re exhausted, hungry, stressed, and scrolling social media. Helping yourself be in better physical condition overall, can help you manage your thoughts better.

If rumination is costly in your life and you want support in changing your brain wiring around it, reach out today! Therapy can help disrupt your brain patterns away from rumination and toward peacefulness and acceptance of life as it is. Reach out today to schedule your free consultation!

Elizabeth Peters, LMSW is a licensed therapist seeing clients in person in Wichita and online across Kansas. She provides EMDR and somatic therapy for adults who are overwhelmed by anxiety, trauma, painful relationships or spiritual harm.