When Do You Need Therapy for Spiritual Wounds?
In many churches, therapy is not the go-to when someone has experienced harm, which may have left you with the question: is therapy appropriate for spiritual wounds? If so, how do I know when it is the right choice? It's not always clear when spiritual hurt needs a spiritual solution vs when it needs a therapeutic solution. So let's talk briefly about that!
Indications of Needing Therapy
You've heard some iteration of this statement before: you don't go to a dentist for brain surgery. You already know that the solution has to fit the problem. But it can feel less obvious to know when pain related to spirituality, needs more than a spiritual solution. Spiritual hurts come in a wide range of packages (purity culture, betrayals in ministry, clergy sexual abuse, controlling authorities, etc) with a wide range of solutions. Sometimes, the assistance of a pastor or spiritual director is exactly what you need! But sometimes you need help that targets more than your spirit: help for your brain and body. And that's where therapy comes in.
If you're wondering whether therapy is the most helpful next step for you, consider whether your symptoms are limited to the spiritual realm or whether they have also bled into the experience of your brain and body. These are some symptoms of a nervous system that is overwhelmed and could benefit from therapeutic help:
emotional reactivity – you're experiencing big reactions to small things, feeling irritable, suddenly blowing up in anger, or crying all the time
flooding with shame – your brain keeps looping on things you feel wrong about, leaving you feeling paralyzed with shame
broken trust – you experienced a betrayal so large that you feel closed off to other people now
boundary struggles – you would feel guilty if you said no, so you keep overcommitting beyond your capacity
anxiety, panic & rumination – you're trying to “be anxious about nothing” but your brain just is not cooperating
strong memories - remembering what happened can put you “right back there” again with a racing heartbeat and hot emotions
compulsive behaviors – you can't stop yourself from engaging in things you wish you had more control over, like sexuality, food, screens, spending, etc
If you're experiencing things like this, can I gently suggest that they might be symptoms of a brain and body that need care? The solution might not be more prayer, more Bible study, more spiritual direction, more deliverance, or more of any other spiritual resource just yet. If your nervous system is reverberating after experiencing spiritual harm, take some time to tend the soothing of your body and brain, and then you may find spiritual resources are better able to land the way you want.
How Does Therapy Treat Spiritual Harm?
If you've ever told someone a struggle in confidence only to have it spread around in the guise of a “prayer request,” you'll intuitively know the value of therapy being a strictly confidential place to process. There's no need to worry your issue will become a gossip item – you don't even have to tell people you're in therapy! While tight-knit communities of faith are fabulous at creating a feeling of belonging and a sense of meaning in the world, they aren't always the easiest place to wrestle with questions, trauma, and the symptoms leftover by spiritual harm. Therapy is a safe place to talk honestly about how experiences have affected you spiritually, whether you are in a season of confidence or of doubt. There is room for your real story here.
Therapy provides tools for restoring your brain and body. Instead of seeing your struggles as failures, we'll look at them as clues of what is calling out for healing. If trauma is part of your story, we'll use a blend of EMDR, somatic therapy, and cognitive-behavioral therapy that's tailored to you. If anxiety, emotional reactivity, or some other struggle with mental health is tripping you up, we’ll develop a toolbox for you that helps. You can find help for spiritual wounds, by healing your brain and body first.
I offer a free consultation to all new clients, so you can enter therapy confident that you've found the right fit. Reach out today to schedule your free consultation and find help for the places you've been stuck for so long.
Elizabeth Peters, LMSW is a licensed therapist seeing clients in person in Wichita and online across Kansas. She provides EMDR and somatic therapy for adults who are overwhelmed by anxiety, trauma, painful relationships or spiritual harm.